Today has been a day of mixed emotions. I am entering my third trimester today. Things are still going well. The babies are both over 2 pounds, and my cervix is holding (although it has shortened some in the last month). I should be joyous...and I am, but I am anxious too. Every pregnancy comes with uncomfortable symptoms, especially in the last trimester. I really don't care that I will be uncomfortable, but I have lost my confidence to say that I am uncomfortable but nothing is wrong. With this pregnancy, every new symptom and development has me worried..and I am a really great worrier. Sometimes I wish the line was clearer between pushing myself a little (in a healthy way) and pushing myself too far. I am trying to stay on the side of caution whenever the line seems blurred, but it is hard to always know if I am making the right decisions.
Today is also 13 months since the triplets' birth. It really has not been that hard of a day until I got the phone call. I was trying to get my niece and Gabriel in the car after my niece's piano lesson when my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number (out-of-state area code), but I answered it anyway. I was not expecting the hospital. It was the grief support staff calling from Good Samaritan. I had prepared myself for this call last month in the week around their birthday, but the call never came. I was not prepared for it today. I am glad that they call to check on me, but sometimes I just wish I had more notice. It had been so long since I had spoken with them last that they didn't even know I was pregnant with twins. I bet that was a twist she wasn't expecting when she called me.
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