When I realized I was part of the IF community, my Ob/Gyn was the first to try to treat me. Then I went to see an RE (okay three) who among other things diagnosed me with PCOS, ran an HSG to look at my tubes, and three SIS's to get a closer look at my uterus lining. After 2 failed IUI's, I did my first IVF and got pregnant with the triplets. After the complications threw me into PTL, I lost all three boys and became part of the IL community as well. After a failed FET and another successful IVF, I became pregnant with the twins. I had another bout of PTL, but the girls were eventually taken early for other reasons. They spent their first week(s) in the NICU. Now my biggest worries are SIDS and RSV.
* I went easy on you. I decided not to include the whole host of acronyms commonly used in the IF community like BFN, BFP, and PUPO.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Milestones
Each of these is fully deserving of there own post, but who am I kidding? If I don't combine them, they may never get written. I guess I should start with the milestone that has waiting the longest.
Gabriel turned 7!...3 months ago. I meant to write something on his birthday, but I got busy preparing files for my sub to start the school year with (files he did not even use...but that is a different story). Then this milestone went on the list of blog posts that I want to write. This list seems to be getting always longer and never shorter.
This year has been a big year for Gabriel. He has really developed a love for reading. He reads everywhere (including the car). Gabriel's love for Legos has continued to grow. I could not bring myself to buy more sets for him for his birthday so instead we bought him a table for the end of his bed to build on. Gabriel has had to get used to having 2 sisters at home. He has been a pretty sweet big brother. One of my favorite memories was listening to him sign "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" to Tessa when he visited her at the NICU. As always, Gabriel continues to crack us up with the things that will come out of his mouth. It is so fun to hear about how he views and analyzes the world.
Tessa and Eowyn turned 4 months a couple of weeks ago. I did take pictures, but they have been sitting on my camera since then.
Tessa is still more vocal and less mobile. She can make a whole range of baby noises, and it is fun to have a conversation with her. I love Tessa smiles. She always gives huge open-mouthed smiles. She still is not very interested in moving around. When I set Tessa down, I know she will still be there when I get back. At her check-up, she was almost 14 1/2 pounds.
Eowyn is only a little over 13 pounds, but she is now longer than her sister. She is making some baby noises, but she would much rather be on the move. She has not flipped from stomach to back lately because she is much more interested in putting both her legs and arms up at the same time when she is on her belly. She is working on flipping to her stomach from her back. She can almost get there, but she hasn't quite figured out what to do with her arm. She continues to love to kick. It is funniest in her bath. She loves to kick and splash up water.
In the last week or so, the girls have really started to notice each other. They stare at each other, and sometimes smile back and forth. It is really fun to watch them interact with each other.
This week Jason and I celebrated 10 years of marriage. Okay, maybe celebrated is not the right word. I am not sure a card given in between feedings, diaper changes, homework, and making a vocabulary hat (for Gabriel's school) really counts as celebrating. I am so grateful though for a husband who grabs a bottle to feed a baby, who will change a diaper (even a dirty one of he has to), and who will lie through his teeth that the hat I threw together looks great.
Gabriel turned 7!...3 months ago. I meant to write something on his birthday, but I got busy preparing files for my sub to start the school year with (files he did not even use...but that is a different story). Then this milestone went on the list of blog posts that I want to write. This list seems to be getting always longer and never shorter.
This year has been a big year for Gabriel. He has really developed a love for reading. He reads everywhere (including the car). Gabriel's love for Legos has continued to grow. I could not bring myself to buy more sets for him for his birthday so instead we bought him a table for the end of his bed to build on. Gabriel has had to get used to having 2 sisters at home. He has been a pretty sweet big brother. One of my favorite memories was listening to him sign "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" to Tessa when he visited her at the NICU. As always, Gabriel continues to crack us up with the things that will come out of his mouth. It is so fun to hear about how he views and analyzes the world.
Tessa and Eowyn turned 4 months a couple of weeks ago. I did take pictures, but they have been sitting on my camera since then.
Tessa is still more vocal and less mobile. She can make a whole range of baby noises, and it is fun to have a conversation with her. I love Tessa smiles. She always gives huge open-mouthed smiles. She still is not very interested in moving around. When I set Tessa down, I know she will still be there when I get back. At her check-up, she was almost 14 1/2 pounds.
Eowyn is only a little over 13 pounds, but she is now longer than her sister. She is making some baby noises, but she would much rather be on the move. She has not flipped from stomach to back lately because she is much more interested in putting both her legs and arms up at the same time when she is on her belly. She is working on flipping to her stomach from her back. She can almost get there, but she hasn't quite figured out what to do with her arm. She continues to love to kick. It is funniest in her bath. She loves to kick and splash up water.
In the last week or so, the girls have really started to notice each other. They stare at each other, and sometimes smile back and forth. It is really fun to watch them interact with each other.
This week Jason and I celebrated 10 years of marriage. Okay, maybe celebrated is not the right word. I am not sure a card given in between feedings, diaper changes, homework, and making a vocabulary hat (for Gabriel's school) really counts as celebrating. I am so grateful though for a husband who grabs a bottle to feed a baby, who will change a diaper (even a dirty one of he has to), and who will lie through his teeth that the hat I threw together looks great.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
The Question
It has been blogged about many times before. For every mom who has lost a child, it is the question that is sometimes hardest to answer. I was filling out a survey tonight when I was faced with it again. How many children do you have? It is such a simple question, but I am left with no simple answers to it
I have always felt I must acknowledge the triplets in some fashion when I answer this question. I know that there are some moms who don't. I can't say they are wrong in doing so, but I have always felt that it is my duty as their mother to remember and include them. It is really the only thing I can do for them...not that they really need anything done for them. Before the twins were born, I struggled with how to bring them up. If I said that I had four children, people immediately would think that I was a very busy woman with a house full. That was a little misleading since I only had one at home. I would normally tell them four, but then I would explain that three were a set of triplets that were born premature and only lived for a short time..a long answer for someone looking for a simple number and even a little misleading since Nathaniel was stillborn.
There is no faster way to stop a conversation. People don't know what do when they ask this as a casual or courtesy question, and they get a response that is anything but casual. I have found that they especially don't know what to say to me. I don't know if it is because I have lost three, or if they view my loss as something different than those who loose older children. They usually never want to know anything more about them. Instead, they are busy looking for the fastest way to walk away from this mine that they think that they have stepped on.
To be honest, I sometimes look forward to it being asked. It is my only real chance to talk about the boys. When I was visibly pregnant with the girls, I would get asked often. Are they your first? I still get it occasionally when I am out with the girls alone. Do you have any more (usually said in a voice that conveys they are worried about my sanity if I say yes)? I hear it a lot less when I have all three kids (three apparently seems a good number to people).
As time has passed, I have found myself settling with a compromise. I often say that I have three living children. People seem more comfortable with that explanation.
As I sit here staring at the survey, I still don't know how to respond. Do I put 6 even though I know that they would rather know the number of children living in my home, or do I put 3 and concede that my triplets don't really count for most people?
Does it really matter......no.
Do they really matter....to me, yes, always.
I have always felt I must acknowledge the triplets in some fashion when I answer this question. I know that there are some moms who don't. I can't say they are wrong in doing so, but I have always felt that it is my duty as their mother to remember and include them. It is really the only thing I can do for them...not that they really need anything done for them. Before the twins were born, I struggled with how to bring them up. If I said that I had four children, people immediately would think that I was a very busy woman with a house full. That was a little misleading since I only had one at home. I would normally tell them four, but then I would explain that three were a set of triplets that were born premature and only lived for a short time..a long answer for someone looking for a simple number and even a little misleading since Nathaniel was stillborn.
There is no faster way to stop a conversation. People don't know what do when they ask this as a casual or courtesy question, and they get a response that is anything but casual. I have found that they especially don't know what to say to me. I don't know if it is because I have lost three, or if they view my loss as something different than those who loose older children. They usually never want to know anything more about them. Instead, they are busy looking for the fastest way to walk away from this mine that they think that they have stepped on.
To be honest, I sometimes look forward to it being asked. It is my only real chance to talk about the boys. When I was visibly pregnant with the girls, I would get asked often. Are they your first? I still get it occasionally when I am out with the girls alone. Do you have any more (usually said in a voice that conveys they are worried about my sanity if I say yes)? I hear it a lot less when I have all three kids (three apparently seems a good number to people).
As time has passed, I have found myself settling with a compromise. I often say that I have three living children. People seem more comfortable with that explanation.
As I sit here staring at the survey, I still don't know how to respond. Do I put 6 even though I know that they would rather know the number of children living in my home, or do I put 3 and concede that my triplets don't really count for most people?
Does it really matter......no.
Do they really matter....to me, yes, always.
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