My Fertility Story: Another New Doctor

Now we were waiting for the new doctor to come. We were told it would be in July, and they would start making appointments in June. I managed to get an appointment on their first day open. Again, I thought that we would proceed straight to IVF, and again I was proven wrong. He wanted me to come in for a procedure to check if everything was healthy before we moved on. A month later, I had the procedure. I showed that I had some scar tissue that would need to be removed by surgery. My surgery was scheduled a few weeks later. It was going to be a long day when I had my pre-op appointment. I had to drive from my house on the south side, to the school on the west side, to the appointment on the north-east side, back to the school on the west side (parent-teacher night), and finally back home to the south side. I was on my way to the appointment when I received a phone call from the doctor's office. They wanted to know if I wanted to proceed with the surgery even though they weren't covered on my insurance yet. What? Not covered on my insurance? You mean, all my appointment so far have not been covered. Yes, was her reply. That was exactly what she was saying. They were working on getting covered (had been since before they opened), and it should happen soon. Did I want to wait a few weeks until it happened? Of course, my answer was yes. As i was talking to her, I got off the next exit that passed, pulled into a random parking lot, and cried. I cried for the delay in our treatment, the bill that was coming in the mail for the appointments that we had already had, and my stupidity in not checking to see if he was covered. The doctor before him was covered, and they had taken my insurance card at the new place with no comment at each appointment. They finally got covered though, and I had my surgery. Now, we were ready to start IVF, and in November they transferred to embryos to me.

My Fertility Story: Fertility Doctor # 2

I made an appointment with a new doctor after I realized that my other doctor was not getting a job in town. I thought that we would proceed start to IVF, but I was wrong. He wanted to do more testing or both Jason and myself. The testing didn't turn out much different than before, and we were told by a second doctor that we probably wouldn't have another child except through IVF. He said that we might have a chance with IUI's. It was a slim chance, but we took it since this procedure was only a couple of hundred dollars instead of over ten thousand. We did the procedure twice. Both times, the nurses told us that they would be surprised if it worked. They were right. Just as I hoped to move to IVF with this new doctor, I received a letter in the mail announcing his retirement. He said in the letter that a new doctor would take over his practice in April. Later, it became that the new doctor wasn't coming until July. We had now been trying for another child for 4 years.

My Fertility Story: A New Hope

Jason and I went together to my first appointment with my new doctor. We answered lots of questions, and I had an ultrasound. The doctor came in at the end of the appointment and told me two things. First, she told me that she was pretty sure that I had polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), but she needed to do blood work to make sure. Secondly, she told me that she was pretty sure that we would have another child. I left her office with new hope, a new lifestyle, and orders for the blood work. My hope sustained me as I went through being stuck 10 times in 24 for blood draws and as I drastically changed my diet to accommodate this new condition that I had. During this time, Jason was also tested for the first time. At our next appointment, I was told that I definitely had PCOS, and we were told that Jason's results were okay (but not great). As the doctor was looking through my chart, she noticed there was a missing test. I had not had a HSG. Normally, she schedules this during the first appointment, but it had been missed during mine. Instead of leaving this appointment with a plan of action, I left with an order for the test when it fit into my next cycle. My HSG finally happened (after waiting in the holding room for several hours in my hospital gown), but the results showed a small problem. I was told that it might be a fibroid, but I would have to have another test to make sure. Since it was almost Christmas by now, I had to wait several weeks for this next test. When it happened, the doctor told me that she found two fibroids. I would need surgery (possibly even two) to remove them. Since she was performing this surgery, she also recommended that I have an ovarian drilling procedure. This is done to reset ovaries that have experienced PCOS. I went into the hospital to have both of these procedures on Valentine's Day. The ovarian drilling went well, but there were no fibroids when she went to remove them. While all this was happening, Jason had been tested several more times, and the results were not good. We were referred to an urologist, but he could find nothing wrong with him that we could treat. By this time, it was May. We met with our doctor again who told us that with our results she felt that IVF would probably be our only chance at having more children. She asked us to think about whether we wanted to do the procedure, and she scheduled an appointment a couple of months later. We came to that appointment to tell her that we were ready, and she came to that appointment to tell us that she was leaving the practice. We were told that she would be going to a new practice downtown that fall. She said that if we would wait she would start up with an IVF cycle as soon as she got started. She directed us to call a certain nurse at the current practice for news of when she would start her new job. I called the nurse several times. Each time, I heard a different story. Finally, I went on-line looking for her. I found that she had accepted a new job in Illinois so I called to schedule an appointment with a new doctor. We had now been trying for 3.5 years.

My Fertility Story: Plan B

Jason and I started to try to have another baby when Gabriel was about 6 months old. It really wasn't the best of times for us to have one as I was in the middle of master classes, and I was about to switch careers. We figured that it would take a little while though, and we would make it through somehow. I didn't really get worried until we hit the one year mark, and I realized that we may have a problem. This was especially apparent as my cycle became more erratic than it ever had before. I decided that I would wait it out until my next doctor's appointment in about 6 months. Of course in my head, I really thought the pattern might repeat itself, and I would be pregnant before I went to this appointment. It didn't. I went to my appointment not sure of how I would be received. I had a 2-year old child at home. Would my doctor look at me like I was crazy when I said we were having problems? He didn't. Although, the fact that we did have Gabriel would slow our treatment down by years. He suggested that I get some blood work and come back in a couple of months. When I came back for the results, nothing was wrong. All of my results were in normal range. He did not really see the need for further tests since I already had a child so I was put on Clomid. Normally, you should only be on Clomid for three months at a time (some doctors say you can do up to six months), and the normal dosages are 50, 100, or 150 mg. Not realizing this at the time, I was put on at least eight cycles by my doctor, and at the end, I was taking 200 mg. It never worked. Each time I turned in my last few failed temperature charts, my doctor said that we would do one more cycle before he referred me to a specialist. Finally, I had enough. I did not turn in my last chart, and I referred myself to one. I made an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist (in other words, a fertility doctor). The appointment was almost exactly a year after my first doctor's appointment. At this time, Gabriel was 3, and we had been trying for 2.5 years.

My Fertility Story: The Beginning

I haven't posted for awhile. I could blame it on being busy because I have been, but that wouldn't really be the whole truth. I have been avoiding posting. I am back now though, and I thought that I would start with my fertility story (this may take awhile).

I thought I would start at the beginning. I have always wanted kids. I wanted a large family, and Jason has known almost since he started dating me that a future with me would at least include 4 of them. I had it all planned (maybe I should have checked with God about that). When we got married, Jason wasn't ready for children yet, so I told him (yes, told him) that I would give him a year until we would start trying to have them. True to my word, we starting trying after a year. I was very optimistic at first even though I had always had issues with my cycle, but my optimism was eroded month after month as I realized that it had not worked. As we were closing in on a year of trying, I realized that we may need some help. I told Jason that I would discuss it with my doctor at my next yearly appointment that was coming up in a few months. We always joke that it was the threat of testing, but we never made it to that appointment. Thirteen months after we started trying, I realized that I was pregnant with Gabriel. This was one of the happiest times of my life. We had proven that we could get pregnant (I was starting to have my doubts), and I carried Gabriel with no complications. Everyone I knew kept telling me that we probably wouldn't have any trouble getting pregnant with our next child. They were wrong.

Emotionally Drained

I haven't posted much lately. Often, I write posts in my head, but they never make it to the blog. I lot has been happinging to me this past week, and it has left me drained.

I went to my doctor's appointment this week. I had an SIS done. Basically, it was a scan to check and see if I had any scar tissue or placental remnants left that could be an issue in future pregnancies. If I did, then it would mean surgery and further delays before we could do a new procedure. I had some justification for thinking that it would lead to surgery. I have had this test twice before, and both times idicated that I needed surgery. Also, things have never gone smoothly with my fertility testing so why start now. I went to my appointment certain that surgery was coming next, and I walked out ordering medication for my next cycle which is starting immediately. My emotions have been all over the place about this. Of course, I am thrilled that we get to try again, but I know that this procedure is less likely to work than the last procedure that we did. This means that in about six weeks I could find myself extremely happy or dealing with yet another blow. I am trying to prepare myself for that.

Last Sunday, I also attended a memorial for another baby who died shortly after birth. Obviously, this has been a big reminder of everything that has happened this year. It has been hard for me these last few weeks because I know the babies would have been born right now and that I would be making NICU trips and waiting for them to come home.

Yesterday was draining as well, but different than I thought it would be. I had though that being with my best friend while she gave birth was going to be hard for me. Although it was hard at times, I spent most of the time focused on Laura and what she needed. The hardest thing that day was calling my son to tell him Emily was born. He got very quiet and asked in a small voice if she was healthy. I was again struck with how sad I am that my son is so aware that bad things can happen. It was also a little hard for me when he held her for the first time today. I had thought that he would soon be holding his own brothers instead. I will post picture of Emily soon, but I forgot my camera in the car today.